The sad time is drawing closer.

A lot has changed in the last few days and not for the better. We had a nice day on Thursday with all of us going to swimming lessons with Anika and Jasmine and Laughton, Laura, Josh and I having a cup of coffee while the lesson was on. Later Josh went back down there with Peter for a swim and had a brief but happy swim. Anika and I took Fudge for a walk (bike ride for Anika) and met Abby so had a look around her new house. Later we went to the movies with the lovely McKenzies and saw Monsters Vs Aliens which the kids seemed to mostly enjoy. I did NOT appreciate Anika's dirty nappy! Lucky I did put a nappy on her just in case...

After a very restless night with Josh suffering very bad reflux, we finally got to bed at 11.30 and had a good sleep though I woke up very sore due to sleeping on Josh's floor! After sleeping almost to lunchtime and Anika going to Grannys. Josh got out of bed later in the afternoon while I was doing the house cleaning (oh the joy) and screamed his head off. From what we can tell, it seems his poor spine has finally disintegrated and collapsed on his spinal cord. This has obviously led to excrutiating pain and less mobility. Josh can still move but basically it is like being ripped apart. After a visit to Grannys for tea after the lolly shop and Josh eating nothing whatsoever all day, Dr Ward came to see Josh and we did all the medical stuff with altering pain meds etc. After that terry, Bec, Jessica, Michael and Greg dropped in for a little while and Anika went back to sleep at Grannys after a long play with Jess.

Today after a restless night with Josh in bed with me, we woke to even more pain. Josh stayed in our bed all day today with very minimal movement and his eating had stopped almost altogether until just now when he ate a bread roll! DVDs saved the day and that was what kept his spirits up today. I went out with Tammy this morning to get scripts filled, order balloons for his birthday party and get fuel/try to find present etc. It was nice to feel a bit normal but still felt a bit like I was betraying Josh even though every second of my life is filled with him even when we are not together.

Keep praying and sending Josh happy thoughts, he desperately needs them now more than ever.

Hannah

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