In spite of how tired and sore our poor man is, he is still the same loving little boy he has always been. I hope he remains this way until the end. Almost every minute of waking time he has is spent checking we are OK and telling us he loves us. This window of waking time is slowly closing and my hope is that Josh slips away gently in the next few days as it seems he might. He is up to 225mcgm of Fentanyl now and we have had three increases over the last 36hrs to keep on top of the pain which may be escalating most likely due to vertebra collapse as Felicity warned us could happen.
For the most part Josh seems fairly calm although he still periodically tells me that he feels unwell. He is probably the most accepting of what is happening of all of us and he still manages a few smiles here are there. He had such a happy time when Ty and Jazzy and Laura dropped in on Wednesday night, it really lit his face up seeing them and Laura had to rush back from Perth and pick up Ty to make it to our place but true to her word, was there when we needed her.
We are trying as best we can to discuss funeral arrangements before we absolutely have to do it so we are focussed on Anika's needs after Josh is gone. The least we can do is to give her the time and love she deserves while she tries to cope with the death of her little partner in crime!
Just a quick note to also say that while we love having our family and friends to visit, just now our focus is on spending the time with our kids as a family so it would be greatly appreciated if visits are planned beforehand. Just give us a call to see if it is appropriate to come over as things change very quickly here right now. If we say no to the visit, please do not be offended, we just reserve the right to have our special time with Josh now.
Hoping for bright rainbows and peaceful new beginnings, much love and thanks to you all,
Hannah.
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